Monday, 15 September 2008

DON'T EXPECT ME TO BE YOUR ALIBI . . .

My friend M and I were meeting up yesterday. I hadn't saw her since Belfast, which is ridiculous considering we live about five minutes away from one another and I'd missed her birthday so offered to take her out for drinks. We decided to go to a pub for a bit then take some bottles of wine back to mine and play the wii, since I'm still in possession of it.

As we walked down Byres Road I realised I should get batteries before the shops shut, just in case the batteries in one of the wii controllers ran out. And, let's face it, a girl can always use some batteries. I've been having a bit of a battery crisis of late, constantly taking them out of one thing to put in another, then back again. So buying new batteries made sense. We popped into Woolworths, located the batteries and took them up to the counter, where we proceeded to get involved in one of the oddest conversations I've ever had with a shop assistant.

Guy behind counter: Hello. How are you?
Me: (not used to such politeness) Great, thanks, yourself?
Guy: Not bad, yeah. Are you having a nice day?
Me: Um - yeah, I guess.
M: Yeah, we're just going to the pub.
Guy: Lucky you. Wish I was.
Me: (feeling like I should ask in return) So how's your day been? Or is that a stupid question, since you're working?
Guy: You know, my day hasn't been so bad. Except that idiot over there (pointed over at a fellow member of staff two tills over) is absolutely DOING MY HEAD IN. See him? That ginger speccy thing??? I want to kill him.
(The guy in question is listening to every word we say. Neither me nor M are sure whether or not this is a joke. M evidently decides to take it as one.)
M: Well, if you need an alibi, we'll help you out with that.
Me: (inside my head, hoping M is psychic) Don't drag ME into this. I'm not being an alibi for him, joke or not!
Guy: Thanks very much, that's really nice of you.
(hands me my change)
Guy: Now, if you feel like it, just throw your receipt at him or something on the way out, show him just how annoying he is, okay?

We left the shop, laughing at the randomness of the conversation.

M: That other guy didn't know where to look, I just kinda waved at him as we were leaving, he was looking a bit scared.
Me: Was he? Um - that might have been cos I sort of shook my fist at him as we walked past!


M then looked at me like I was the psycho.

I guess I got carried away. Mob mentality and all that . . .


9 comments:

  1. I love that you shook your fist at him! Heheh!

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  2. LOL "that ginger speecy thing" ha ha, that cracked me up.

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  3. Love,love,love strange random conversations! My sister and i kind of had the same thing at a fast food store - the girl on the counter asked how we were, we said good, asked her the same, and she said she was sick of the boy standing right behind her stacking the drinks fridge. ONly the boy chimes in " He, i think she doesnt like me! " with his huge, cheeky grin on his face and she turns aroudnd " Dont talk about me and stop looking at me! "

    Hilarious....

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  4. I wonder if he did end up killing that guy afterward. That would make you a quasi-accomplice. You could then guest star on Law & Order, in the middle of the show when they think they have a lead, but then it takes a dramatic twist. YOU could be that twist. Who knew batteries would lead to such frivolity... btw, what else are you using those batteries for, pray tell? Hmm...

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  5. There were so many amazing lines in that post I don't even know where to start...

    Maybe "let's face it. A girl can always use some batteries."

    Priceless.

    And poor guy... He must be scarred for life.

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  6. hahaha what a crazy person. I <3 it.

    maybe you shouldn't go to that store anymore.

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  7. Those little guys are so deceitful! I bought them in a natural food shop once and they looked so tasty, but . . . they are DISGUSTING.

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  8. you shook your fist?? hahaha. Man I cannot wait till the day I get to hang with you.

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  9. Bwahahaha...random gummy bear commercial cracked me up.

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