Wednesday, 6 August 2008

WHAT DO YOU GET WHEN YOU THROW A "SPAMMER" IN THE WORKS . . .?

. . . Some very odd emails, that's what.

I used to gain constant amusement from the spam emails I used to receive, mainly due to the titles of them. These days, since defecting to yahoo, I don't seem to get as many interesting ones. Instead I get all those money laundering/scam type ones instead, which are nowhere near as much fun. The boring ones which either tell you that you've miraculously won some random lottery that you've never heard of in your life before (and isn't it weird how sometimes you win five different lotteries you've never heard of in five consecutive days? Coincidence? I think not.) or the people in places usually in Africa who are decidedly reminiscent of the tv prgramme "Fonejacker" . . .





Anyway, luckily I have so many email addresses that the spam filters tend to catch a few doozies so I can get a little amusement from that select few. Especially when I come in after a few days of no access to email to a virtual plethora (ie. around about 15!) of them. Such as . . .

SUBJECT: become a super hung giant

SUBJECT: just do her
(do you think this is a twist on the Nike slogan?)

SUBJECT: we let all your wishes come true
(and it wasn't an email about Disneyland, put it that way)


The content is usually fairly to the point. Such as . . .


now please your g/f 5 times a day
(impressive!!!)

if you need to improve your nights (http://imghj.hipsurgeryonline.eu/)
(huh???)

Success favors only real men with huge-dimensioned rods... Become one of them!
Advance your masculine capabilities today!

(Hmm, that's hitting the men who read THIS one where it hurts)


BUT here is my favourite. I don't think it's rude, unless it's in code, but in terms of random rubbish, it's right up there with the best of them . . .


FROM:
jimmy jowly jenkins
SUBJECT:
ice staley jowly jowly shim
CONTENT OF EMAIL:
fbi dennis dennis? out, staley flint.wobble togo ice morose courthouse floodlight, mariannealcoholic dennis sutton staley antacid.acuity isfahan moroseswank marjorie ice? jowly, oligoclase thereunder.marianne tweedy philanthropy peugeot oligoclase shim, vesselflint past melodrama sutton cherokee.peugeot thereunder
oligoclasealcoholic transylvania marianne? fbi, ampere marianne.pebble thoroughgoing.



Seriously is there ANY point whatsoever to this email? At ALL?? As far as I could see there were no links in it, no mention of a website. What the heck is it??? Any ideas???

Do you think anyone ever REPLIES to these emails? Such as . . .

TO:
jimmy jowly jenkins
FROM:
Paula
SUBJECT:
???
CONTENT OF EMAIL:
What the FUCK are you on about??? Care to enlighten us? *


Did anyone else receive some random, disturbing and/or funny spam emails recently?


*I feel I must add the disclaimer now that I did not actually send any such email. I'm not THAT silly . . .

12 comments:

  1. Um, you do realise that they email random stuff to see which email addresses are genuine - and now you're replied you can expect a bit more spam :)

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  2. Erm - I didn't reply, silly!!! That was just me saying what my email would be like if I HAD!!! D'uh! ;)

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  3. Constantly, every day :) I only wonder why they always offer to enlarge my penis instead of enlarging my boobs?

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  4. Good point!!! I suppose they want to enhance OUR pleasure, hehe!

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  5. From today's e-mail: Don't find love, let love find you. That's why it's called falling in love, because you don't force yourself to fall, you just fall. http://mgwfln.winforgiveness.com

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  6. Ugh, I get these all the time. I used to get ones from an investment group but they'd be from a normal sounding name (Jane McDonald, say) and then the body would be all about the stock market and how I can improve my life.
    That gibberish email sounds like a virus or something! Probably they are testing your email address, sometimes they can tell if you opened it or not?!

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  7. Kasia - ha ha, that's cheesy!

    Alice - that one landed in our spam filter in work, and we can look at it before we decide whether or not to release it into our email, so HOPEFULLY that won't happen!

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  8. this is where i start to questioned if I read to many conspiracies? I believe its one of those decoding emails that the cia or fbi sends out just to test if anyone can crack the code...well at least that is what i would like to think about all that jibbirish

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  9. My favourite is the ads for naked college girls... as though I couldn't see one when I look in the mirror!!

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  10. I am always getting emails from "long lost relatives" who want to give me money. Right. Of course I'll believe you, why would I ever doubt that statement, person who I've never heard of before?

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  11. Chele - ooh that's a scary theory - do you also believe princess diana was murdered by the royal family??? cos i sometimes do...

    PP - you'll have loads of guys excited on THAT comment . . . if loads of guys read my blog that is . . . :(

    readsalot - yeah, i wouldn't believe that either. especially since my family have so few relatives that all my sister's friends at our catholic school labelled us "bosnian". which was nice...

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  12. hehe, I havent checked my spam filter recently, nothing usually gets through on my gmail, but my aol email I gave up on a long time ago. I wonder why they still send all those stupid spam things, do people actually still fall for those?

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