Thursday, 14 August 2008

TWO ANECDOTES, A RANT AND A RAMBLE . . .

My most recent attempt at a health kick starts today. Well, sort of. When I say it STARTS today, I kinda mean that I went and bought all the relevant healthy food to FUEL it. Strictly speaking it didn't start today, as I had a dairy milk bar for breakfast and macaroni cheese (WITH EXTRA CHEESE!) for lunch.

Anyway, while I was eating my uber-UNhealthy lunch, I made a list on a post-it note of the food I needed to buy at Tesco later on. This was mainly veg - brocoli, cauliflower, peppers, that sort of thing, along with some of those probiotic yogurt drinks (in the hope I would get a bit less bloated) and some more green tea with lemon. This made me feel marginally better about the five million calories I was consuming at that point, and also gave me a good blueprint of what I needed to buy, which would hopefully stop me buying anything I didn't need, as per usual.

A few hours later I was telling my female colleague about my latest plan to kick my own ass and lose weight again and showed her the list. One of my other colleagues asked what we were talking about.

"My new health kick and what I'm going to eat."

"What ARE you going to eat?" he asked.

"This." I thrust my piece of paper at him.

He looked confused. "A post it?"

Well I suppose it's a novel idea for a diet . . .

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I got most of the stuff I needed at Tesco but I had too much to carry so decided to get the heavier things (juice, yogurt, cereal, a couple more veg items, etc) at my local shop and the greengrocers down the road from me. When I went into the greengrocers there was a relatively cute guy working in there for a change. Not GORGEOUS, but good looking enough for me to notice. I ended up only buying yogurt.

No chance was I asking HIM if they had any brussel sprouts . . .

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Guys, some of you appear to have missed last month's memo on what it's acceptable to do or say to random strangers on the street. Case in point - the four dudes at the bus stop on Woodlands Road earlier today. Why did you want to shout "hello" to me repeatedly as I walked past? I didn't know you. I have, I can assure you, no DESIRE to know you. I also didn't appreciate the fact you then started clapping and yelling "Oy, oy, oy" to try and get my attention - I'm not some type of performing seal. Oh, and if you decided to yell anything insulting after me as some sort of punishment for my "ignorance", don't think I heard it. I ostentatiously switched my mp3 player up to full blast for a reason - and that reason was to drown you out.

Idiots.

Thank god you'll be back at school next week . . .

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I think it must be coming up on my time of month cos my moods are all over the place at the moment. I honestly can't think what else it can be other than hormones, because one minute I'm happy and laughing and feeling on top of the world, and the next I just feel like crying. Luckily the wanting-to-cry bit rarely lasts long but the constant shift in mood is very unsettling. ANYTHING can set me off - being talked to like I'm an idiot, being ignored, being disappointed about something . . . it feels like no sooner have I settled in one mood, I am suddenly pulled out of that one and plonked directly down into another.

Is it hormones? Or maybe it's loneliness, I've been feeling a little bit alone of late. Not sure why - I've never been surrounded by more people. But I just feel a little on the outside. Sometimes I wonder if I'm performing when I'm not alone. I guess sometimes I am. I kinda feel like I have to ACT "on" even when I'm not. It can be a bit tiring at times.

On top of this, I got paid today yet barely have any money left. Which is stressing me out as I have still to pay my rent and am meant to pay for a flight and still SURVIVE. I'm not good at being broke. I don't live outwith my means or anything, but i just like to enjoy myself and often that unfortunately means having to spend money. I've had to cancel my upcoming plan to go to Ireland next month as a result of the skintness (although I'm keeping one of the days off I booked - could use the rest) which I'm pretty disappointed about, and I'm going to have to basically stay in the whole month. Including this weekend. Boo. I think the last thing I'm needing at the moment is to be alone, but I guess I should get used to it as I doubt I'll be doing much else this month with no bloody cash!!!

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PS - Oh and did you see what else has reportedly happened? Remember I was worried about it a couple of weeks ago? Poor girl.

Still, at least she has nice hair . . .

9 comments:

  1. I get in those mood swings too, especially during that special time of the month. Anything will make me cry...commercials, news stories, it's awful and embarassing, especially at work!

    Poor Jen, but we all knew it was coming.

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  2. I get SO moody, it's fantastic. Well in a horrible, I-hate-life sort of way.

    And yes again about the random shouting. Gawd!!

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  3. Oy Oy Oy? Are you serious? You can't be?

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  4. LL - true, it's one thing when you get upset in the privacy of your own home but when it happens in work . . . mortifying! It's happened to me often enough!

    Alice - yeah, sometimes it's cool to just stew in the anger and shit. But it doesn't really help me develop a particularly positive attitude. Which, despite everything, I would kinda like to have . . .

    JK - I wish I wasn't . . .

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  5. I feel like I'm hormonal all the time right now. I'm constantly mensing or I feel like I am. the lonely feeling is definitely there. It's like a constant pity party.

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  6. I always make a list of all the healthy things I'm gong to eat... but never start the diet. Fail.

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  7. bayjb - we should all get together have one MASSIVE pity party and (hopefully!) get it all out of our systems!

    maxie - i always do that as well. it's such a waste of food as well, cos i buy it all then don't eat it. i'm hoping the fact i'm so skint this month will keep me on the straight and narrow. fingers crossed!

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  8. I know how your feeling, i get that way sometimes too. But you know what will make you feel better?

    Heading on over to my blog and picking up your award....

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  9. Amy - I have an award????!!!! :)

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