I sometimes feel like I'm being stalked by some sort of monster.
It's not a SCARY monster or anything. In fact, in my mind, it's probably kinda sweet. CUTE, even. For a monster. It probably looks like Sully from "Monsters Inc" or The Cookie Monster, or this little fella. (Yes, for some reason, it's a blue monster. I don't know why so don't ask . . .)
But every so often the monster comes out to play and visits me with enough stress to make my head explode. The pent-up stressed feeling is soooo not good for me. I think when I am going "GRRRR!" inside my head, it's actually not me. It's the Stress Monster. And while it's "GRRRR"ing at me, it's also putting thoughts in my head, designed to make me feel insecure and cause further stress. The monster isn't as cute and innocent as it appears. It's actually causing further self-doubt and stress just by its very presence in my life. It's probably also conspiring to cause wrinkles, stress lines and grey hairs . . .
The Stress Monster doesn't appear all the time. It's sneaky. It tends to wait until I'm feeling quite content, almost sure of myself, bides its time until one little event occurs that has the capacity to change everything . . . then it strikes. What could have been resolved quickly inside my head suddenly becomes a such bigger deal than it actually was. I find myself worrying away at whatever issue it is, questioning it, driving myself insane with the whole thing. I find myself getting angry, or tearful, or anxious. Or all of the above.
I wish I could get rid of the monster but its sort of ingrained there now. A part of me. Some little devil that flicks a switch inside my brain at any time it deems appropriate. It usually gets its timing dead-on and causes optimum damage.
Its a sneaky wee fucker, that's for sure.
It's kinda like an imaginary friend, in a way. Yet it's my worst enemy.
It's been plaguing me all day. No more.
I wonder if some music will get rid of it. I may as well try . . . I am loving this song at the moment.
PS Oh, and I have to give a shout out to Amy from Insomniatic Musings who gave me a lovely little award which cheered me up (and destroyed some of the Stress Monster's power, ha!) Thanks a lot for that, Amy! I'm extremely flattered.
According to the rules, I'm meant to select at least seven other blogs and link to them. Well, if you're on my blogroll, consider yourself linked. Congratulations - you've all been awarded it too!!! :)