Friday, 20 June 2008

DR NEIL MANSON IS MY GOD (AKA "THE LITTLE BOOK OF CRAP" ROCKS)

So my mind is blank today - possibly as I'm already slightly tipsy (hey, that's okay, it's a Friday night so all is good in da hood! And, no, I don't know why I just said that!) Anyway, since I can't think of anything interesting to blog about personally, I thought I would share some little "lifestyle hints" courtesy of The Little Book of Crap. Hope you enjoy . . .

  • Don't worry if your family have all been killed. A little dab of rosewater will soon see you feeling calm again.
  • See a penny, pick it up. All day long, you'll have a penny.
  • Have you ever seen how soldiers stand proud? Join them. Walk tall. Keep a straight back. But watch out for snipers.
  • Make sure that all your engagements are unimportant. That way it won't matter if you're late.
  • Imagine yourself on a wanted poster. There. Somebody wants you now. It's good to be wanted, but not for murder.
  • Remove the "best before" labels from your food. Now you can enjoy the thrill and danger of eating.
  • Be calm. You can't feel stressed when you're feeling calm.
  • If you're broke, don't worry. Use toy money, or pretty shells.
  • Move to the North Pole. You'll feel on top of the world.
  • Don't eat raw vegetables. Raw is an anagram of war.
  • Stick your head in the sand. The worst thing that can happen now is that you get sand in your eyes.
  • If you lose custody of your child, don't worry. You'll be able to see them in the school holidays.
  • When you have a stressful problem, run away from it. Fast as you can.
  • Lower your standards to the level you're at. Success is easy.

Wouldn't life be so much easier if we all followed his advice???

I've decided to just stick the first song that came into my head that I found on youtube on so here goes . . .



6 comments:

  1. If you're broke, don't worry. Use toy money, or pretty shells.

    If only....I haven't had a wage for nearly two months I'm so unbelievable skint :(

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  2. I fully endorse running from any stress.

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  3. I think all of that is solid advice.
    I thoroughly enjoyed that video. :)

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  4. I knew what song that was before the music even started... its on my Facebook music!

    Also loving the irreverent advice... shall be watching out for snipers the rest of the day though.

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  5. When you have a stressful problem, run away from it. Fast as you can.

    I agree with that one wholeheartedly

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  6. I feel like collecting seashells is a much more worthy endeavour now than ever...

    ReplyDelete

You wanna leave me a comment? Come on, you know you want to really . . . ;)