Wednesday, 7 May 2008


Not in that way.

We are in the midst of a minor heatwave right now. Actually, by Scotland's standards, this is probably in fact considered a major heatwave. The second the sun comes out for more than ten seconds, Glaswegians suddenly come pouring out of the woodwork (or possibly the pub?) and every park, random patch of grass and, er, beer garden is suddenly full to the brim of half-dressed Scots rapidly pinkening in the sunshine. The only reason we perhaps see slightly less sunburn than I remember from my childhood is more-than-likely due to our prolific use of sunbeds.

Anyway, I adore the sunshine just as much as the average person who only sees a few sunny days a year if they're lucky. And I hate the fact I have to be in work while the sun is beating down on all the unemployed/students/work-weird-hours people who get to laze around in the park*. I hate having to sit in a badly air conditioned office, sweltering in my (idea of) office dress. I hate having to try to concentrate on actually doing work when my brain is already out of the door and mentally lazing in the Botanic Gardens while the sun fries me to a crisp.

Today I decided to put aside my jeans (I've been living in jeans since I returned to Gran Canaria, as I couldn't be bothered ironing any black trousers) and actually wear a skirt to work. There were various reasons for this, some which I don't care to go into, but I decided that a skirt would be a little bit cooler than my jeans, so it was more practical. I dithered between my old falling-apart-but-unbelievably comfortable wedges and my brand spanking new I'm-taking-you-two-on-holiday wedges that I bought the other day. And opted for the second. Big mistake. Massive mistake.

I'm now crippled.

It took a mere ten minutes for my feet to ache and the wedges to be rapidly filling up with my blood. I ended up wearing my flatmate's slipper things on the walk to work - she had brought them to wear in the office so obviously I had to swap back to my own shoes once I got there. She procured me some plasters and I put them in the places which hurt the most. They brought temporary relief but in the afternoon OTHER parts of my feet started to hurt.

I swear to god, the devil made these shoes. They are EVIL. There is no other word for it. Pure, unadulterated, you-must-have-killed-in-a-previous-life-to-be-punished-like-this-now evil! I was in agony. And I had a forty five minute walk home to look forward to (read: dread).
The plasters fell off on the walk home. So now there was not one part of my feet not hurting. On top of that, the skirt I was wearing fell a couple of inches below the knee and was pencil style. Therefore, I was forced to take tiny little steps, and therefore couldn't walk as fast as I wanted to. So I was struggling to walk with the skirt on, struggling to walk cos of my feet threatening to fall off . . . oh, and of course, struggling to walk because of the whole heatwave thing!

My feet are covered in blood. But I made it in the door. I nearly cried in relief as I saw my building looming in front of me, like some sort of sick mirage. I nearly collapsed once inside the flat door. The first thing I kicked off, unsurprisingly, were my shoes.
I never want to put shoes on again . . but I HAVE to in about half an hour as I'm off out for dinner.

* By the way, why is it that people sunbathing in Kelvingrove Park are seemingly incapable of clearing up after themselves? i know people are lazy and all, but it's a public place for heaven's sake! Me and my flatmate were walking through it this morning and the main hill people tend to sit on was completely covered in rubbish. You could barely see the grass! What the heck!!!


  1. I hate my hi-heels, they make my feet ache so much but I hate wearing flats too much. Oh, and I think it is sweltering by the standards of here. It's only 16degrees, but still it's pretty hot for here on the coast.
    Love the blog

  2. You are a martyr to the heel-wearing cause.

  3. Germans are like that about sunshine, too. I love it.

    And oh GOD I feel for your feet! I have to give it to you for being stylish despite its painfulness.

  4. I find the more pretty the shoes, the more painful my feet are. Sounds like your shoes are gorgeous for that much pain.

  5. I actually think all women's shoes are evil, just to varying degrees. I bought a pair of ballet flats that made me bleed!

  6. i feel your pain. I can never find comfortable shoes.

  7. I love heat waves in Europe, they are so horribly hot you go crazy. I love it

  8. Oh dear - comment has gone, clearly too dirty for your timid readers. Very sorry... :-)

  9. Plasters? Maybe those are the equivalent of band-aids? I'm not sure what plasters are, but I honestly laughed out loud at this, not because it was funny(yes funny where it was supposed to be!), but because I have been there. I completely felt your pain this entire post. Why are the prettiest shoes always the most painful?


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