Sunday, 20 April 2014

CASHEW BUTTER CUPS . . .


Although I've started to get a bit more experimental with cooking, the one thing I don't do much of is try to make sweet things. This is probably because I like to eat, therefore if I create some sort of sweet concoction and it works out, I will inevitably eat it all.

So it makes TOTAL sense that on the day I was re-starting my bikini body diet for the 508 millionth time (Corfu is booked for three weeks time, oh dear), and had been good all day, that I would decide to create something sweet I had been thinking about for ages! Yep, P, you are nothing if not logical.

I've been obsessed with Reece's peanut butter cups since the first time I tasted them, probably about 10 years ago. I also tried the white chocolate version for the first time yesterday and nearly died of happiness. And due to my frequent stalking of recipe blogs and instagram, I have been seeing a lot of home made versions of these. I had some cashew butter in my cupboard and some dark chocolate so I decided that I'd create a variation of them.

It is relatively straight-forward to do, if a tad fiddly, and involves some waiting around between the layers... but they worked out pretty awesomely.

Melt half a bar of chocolate in the microwave, spoon it into teeny cupcake cases. Wait for it to set. You may want to stick it in the fridge or even the freezer to speed that process up. Once it's set, stick in a layer of cashew butter. That was the fiddly bit as the melted chocolate was far easier to deal with than the cashew butter. Back in the freezer once that's done. Once you think the cashew butter is solid enough to deal with, melt the other half of the chocolate and repeat on top. Simple!

After another wee stay in the freezer they were ready to eat... and delicious. And moreish. Oh dear.

Bye bye diet!

Wednesday, 2 April 2014

PARIS . . .

So I'm off to Paris this Friday.

Very excited about this. I've been to Paris three times previously but the last time was when I was 15. In the summer of 1995. Which was . . . well, it was a long fucking time ago really eh? Nearly 20 years in fact. Bloody hell!

The three times I went actually were within a four year period. The first was in 1991. My mum took me. It was meant to be to help me with my French, as I was about to start high school and start taking French lessons. My mum, as a former French teacher, took this seriously enough to make sure all of my siblings went to Paris the summer before the start of high school. Then proceeded to do all the relevant French speaking. (After a couple of days doing the free sightseeing stuff in Paris, she took me to Bernay which is a little town in Normandy, and we stayed with the family she stayed with during our student year. Who all spoke to me in . . .English. To be fair though, I hadn't STARTED taking French yet, how was I possibly going to understand them if they spoke in their mother tongue.)

Then in 1992, Euro Disney opened and there was a school trip organised. I was so excited when my parents said I could go. (It was over a holiday and completely optional - and expensive! - so it wasn't compulsory.) Of course, I ended up stuck with the most annoying girl in the world as a room-mate and had to sit next to her on the coach ALL OF THE TIME, but there were other people there I was friendly with so I managed to still have a good time.

In 1995, my parents took me and my 2 siblings there on a David Urquhart coach tour and that was probably the best time I had. The weather was fab, we made it around some of the sights once again, hit Euro Disney once again . . . I have fond memories of it and I've always wanted to go back, but then as I got older I got the sunshine bug and, as much as I loved the idea of Paris, when you put it next to the option of a beach holiday with (probably) guaranteed sunshine it was hard of me to choose Paris.

But fate has intervened and, due to my boyfriend running the marathon there, I will be heading there for five days. As I have never tried Paris as an adult this could be a totally different experience. Okay, I may be totally skint but, hey, that's what an overdraft is for, right, a luxury/curse I did not have as a child, so I will be able to go where I want, and do what I want. My parents always tended to want to only do the things you didn't have to pay for while we were on holidays (not that I blame them, especially with three kids to have to pay for) so to actually just be able to decide what WE want to do and just DO it is to me total bliss.

I can't wait. :-)


Do you have a Paris memory?

Thursday, 27 March 2014

ON MY OBSESSION WITH INSTAGRAM . . .

I have a new addiction. Not wine. I've already been there done that. Not drugs, or cigarettes. Or food. Well, not really anyway...

It's Instagram.

Well... it's more than that. It's actually just food pictures on Instagram.

It started off that a few people I followed on there would occasionally post food pictures, like my good friend Dawn for example. And I would be like "Oooh, what's that?" and find out what the recipe was and consider making it but probably not because well I'm mega lazy like that.

And then I started to realise that some people actually almost exclusively post pictures of their recipes. I mean, seriously. Their whole Instagram stream is devoted to pictures of food. Usually (hopefully) complete with recipes. And some of these recipes are actually things I would never EVER have thought of in a million years.

Like... people making sweet versions of enchiladas. (Healthy ones)

"Ice cream" made out of dates. (I'm soooo trying this)

Or people making cookies out of CHICKPEAS. OR brownies out of BLACK BEANS!

Random cakes with recipes including things like beetroot. Or sweet potato. Or just today I saw chocolate peppermint creams which had SPINACH as of their primary ingredients.

This is actually insane. I mean... chickpea cookies?? How does this even work? I've formed chickpeas into cookie shapes before but it was to make FALAFEL, for Christ's sake! Which is not a cookie. Not even a savoury cookie. Oh no, not at all.

Yet, the other day, I saw someone on there had made "raw cookie dough batter" using chickpea and I eventually thought . . . "screw how weird it sounds, I NEED to try this!" I haven't worked up the nerve yet, but watch this space! (Anyone tried this???)

Do you have any idea how many varieties of pancakes can be made that don't contain any flour whatsoever??? I have no idea personally... but I bet Instagram knows judging by the amount of flour-less pancakes I come across on there on a regular basis. Some of the breakfasts look amazing - I discovered chia seed pudding through Instagram and have now started having one for breakfast at least once a week - I use chia seeds, almond milk, vanilla protein powder and (if I'm feeling a bit naughty!) some coconut and dark chocolate chips - and they are so delicious (AND chia seeds are apparently a superfood so added bonus there!). And don't even get me started on the variety of breakfast "parfaits" I've spotted on there recently... they're so beautiful they should probably be displayed in some sort of "breakfast parfait gallery". Even the salads look nice. Even the ones which appear to be entirely made of veg and have none of the good stuff that make salads generally more enticing.

I just want to eat all of it. (And, no, this isn't just because I'm on a diet and therefore can't stop thinking about food!)

Can you not tell, even just from this post, how obsessed I am?

Anyway, I must go now. I am either about to make a brownie out of buffalo meat, or I'm away to browse Instagram for the next hour or so. You can decide which of these options is more likely . . .


Have you ever seen a recipe for a normal everyday type of food that was made out of something you would never have imagined? How do you feel about Instagram? And, most importantly, somebody needs to confirm for me that the whole chickpea cookie idea is not just some giant joke the internet is playing on me!!! Please do share!

Sunday, 23 March 2014

OPERATION DETOX IS GO . . .

I am getting fat.

There is no way around this. I am not exaggerating. I am heavier than I have ever been. And I can't seem to stop eating junk. Or drinking wine. My waistline has suffered and I feel sluggish and sore. I need some sort of kickstart.

I go to Paris on the 4th April, in just under two weeks time. So between tomorrow and then, I intend to go hard and heavy on the healthy eating and exercise.

Oh, and skip the booze. (Insert terrified face here.)

So, I apologise in advance as this blog will probably become more of a health/fitness diary over the next ten days or so... mainly because I need some way of holding myself accountable. Because just trying to do it on the quiet doesn't work... I just end up cheating because I haven't told anyone I'm trying to be good. So.... it's out there now.

Let's see if I can make it to the 3rd April!!! Wish me luck!

If you have any advice, tips, or good websites I can hit up, please feel free to share in the comments . . .

Wednesday, 12 March 2014

REVIEW: ARDTORNA . . .

When it comes to accommodation, I've always been fairly easily pleased. Despite having stayed in some nice London hotels for work in the past, I was raised on chalet stays in Pontins holiday centres as a kid, and my tastes are fairly simple. As long as I have a comfy bed and access to some booze I'm pretty much okay. That being said, I also like a wee bit of luxury and pampering at times.


An overnight stay on Saturday at Ardtorna B&B ten miles outside of Oban gave me that and much MUCH more.

Warm scones on arrival, complete with jam and cream? Check.


Jacuzzi spa bath? Check. (Not in all of the rooms, ours had one, but the others have colour changing wetrooms, which also sound pretty awesome.)

Fluffy dressing gowns, and towels that were practically taller than me? Check. (I wore my towel as a cape. It trailed behind me. It was awesome.)

A gourmet breakfast? Check, check and triple check! (Hello, poached eggs, bacon and grilled halloumi... ESPECIALLY the halloumi. I have barely stopped thinking about how beautifully grilled it was. And how much I just want to eat more grilled halloumi for ever.)

Gorgeous chocolates with a flavour exclusive to the B&B? Check.

Floor to ceiling windows and an amazing view of the water? Check.

Oh.... and I forgot to mention the whisky and home-made whisky liqueur available just outside our room door. I'm not a whisky drinker myself, but oh my god, the liqueur??? It was like Baileys' older, more decadent, hedonistic and FAR superior sister. There was CONDENSED MILK in it! It was like the mother ship had called me home!




Ardtorna is ostensibly a B&B but it is SO much more than that really. It's pretty much perfect. It's not cheap, granted, but it's worth it for the attention to detail, the thoughtful little extras, the friendliness of the couple who run the place and seem to really care about making the stay perfect for their guests, the abundance of Molton Brown bathroom products . . oh, and there's free wifi too. Y'know, just in case it wasn't QUITE  amazing enough for you yet! ;-)

I bought the overnight stay as a birthday present for my boyfriend through a voucher deal website, having no idea what to expect, except for glowing reviews on Trip Advisor which I was worried had raised my expectations to a point which could never be met. Thankfully, they WERE met and then some.

We both want to go back at some point, hopefully in the summer. It really is a lovely place to visit, especially if you want a romantic night away in somewhere a wee bit special. It definitely has the P Stamp of Approval (and I've never given anything that in my entire blog career so consider that a massive endorsement!).

For more information on Ardtorna go to http://www.ardtorna.co.uk/


Thursday, 6 March 2014

HOW TO ANNOY ME IN AN OFFICE . . .

I've worked in many offices over the last fourteen years or so (jeez, that makes me feel OLD). I'm also prone to being very VERY easily annoyed. Therefore I feel it is about time I use my wealth of experience in both of these areas to share my "favourite" (and that word is heavily laced in sarcasm at the moment) ways to actually make me irritated in the workplace . . .



***INVADE MY PERSONAL SPACE
This mainly means don't put your shit on my desk. I am possessive of my space. It is MY space. You have the same amount of space as I do. If I can't move my own fucking MOUSE cos you have put a pile of paperwork on it then my mouse might end up knocking said paperwork all over the floor. Or I might. One or the other.


***AND SPEAKING OF DESKS . . .
Don't leave something randomly on my desk without a) speaking to me about it beforehand b) leaving some sort of note on it explaining what it is and where it has came from or c) emailing me about it to let me know why you have done this. Sometimes it may be obvious. But it's not ALWAYS obvious and I'm not actually psychic.


***THE PRINTER
See that light flashing? It means something. Usually that the paper needs topped up. It doesn't actually top itself up. So if you're printing a shitload of stuff out and that light starts flashing, go and see what it fucking wants. Don't let someone else who is printing out ONE SINGLE SHEET OF PAPER in amongst all your sheafs have to deal with it every time. Not fair, dude.


***"BORROW" MY STUFF AND DON'T GIVE IT BACK
I've lost count of how many different pairs of scissors I've had in however many jobs over however many years because someone has thoughtfully taken them off my desk and not returned them. Or pens. Or post-its. Wait, no, I'm usually out of post-its because I waste so many by simply doodling on them. And I solved the issue of the pens going missing by ramping up my oh-so-sexy habit of chewing on the ends of them. But scissors... not so easy to keep a hold of. And let's not forget the time in the past that a colleague once actually GAVE AWAY my pritt-stick when I wasn't there. Which takes stationery thievery to a whole new, virtually Robin-Hood-esque level.


***BE EXCESSIVELY NOISY
I'm easily distracted. This is always going to be an issue I'm going to need to work on. But having people around me make excessive noise is really not going to help me. Things that annoy me the most? People having really loud phone conversations. Really loud coughing. People slamming sheafs of paper off a desk apparently in order to straighten it into order. Loud chewing. I could go on. I probably shouldn't though.


***DON'T PAY ME
This has only happened to me once, while working for the Con Artist (if you don't know that story, you can find it here) but let's just say working in an office (or ANY kind of job) is made a little more difficult when you're missing your wage at the end of each month. It's definitely the ULTIMATE way to not only ANNOY me in an office, but also to make me feel just a tad stabby...



Anything I've missed? What are your pet peeves if you work in an office?

Wednesday, 19 February 2014

THINGS I *COULD* GIVE UP FOR LENT . . .

Today we were talking about Lent and what we could give up for it. I exaggerate. I was loosely taking part in this conversation . . . I've never been good at giving things up for Lent. I've never been good at giving things up full stop. My willpower is at such a low level that someone really should organise some sort of advertising campaign for people to donate some to me.

Do you remember my attempt to give up wine two years ago? I lasted two weeks, my vodka tolerance went way up in the meantime (well, I wasn't giving up ALL alcohol!), and I discovered nights out in the pub were hard when there was no alcoholic beverage other than wine that I could stick to for extended periods of time. I used to give up sex . . . but only if I was single. And as for chocolate or crisps . . . there just isn't a hope in hell.  (Well, I could POSSIBLY manage crisps. I don't eat them often. BUT, if told I couldn't have them, I would most definitely suddenly want to eat them ALL OF THE TIME!)

This year, I will most certainly be not giving up wine. Or chocolate. Or cakes. Even if I THOUGHT it was possible, I will be in Paris before the end of Lent and I can't see myself avoiding any of these things. Someone today said he had given up fizzy drink for Lent one year . . . I don't think I would make it through the first hour of caffeine withdrawal headache. :-(


So I've given it some thought and here are some things I could probably give up for Lent instead:


VEGETABLES - I know we're meant to get our five a day and all that . . . but it's so easy to forget so I think I could just keep forgetting and manage the full 40 days. And then probably keep going for the rest of the year. In fact - let's live really dangerously and throw in fruit too. I'm SUCH a risk-taker!!!

WATER -  going to the loo all the time is such a hassle anyway. Totally overrated. And . . . I've said it before and I'll say it again, ad nauseam . . . Jesus turned water into wine for a reason.

SHOWERING - we all know my feelings on showering. If you don't, you may get the hint after forty days of me avoiding it.

EXERCISE - as long as lifting a wine glass to my lips doesn't count as exercise, I think I could manage this one without too much hassle.

SAVING MONEY - I know it will be REALLY hard to just spend money without thinking about it, and not think about the repercussions, but I will do my best. I will put my all into it. I will buy holidays and clothes and books and tickets for things and I will HATE EVERY MINUTE OF IT. Honestly!!!



On second thoughts . . . maybe I'll just not give anything up at all.

As per usual . . .



What would YOU give up???

Sunday, 16 February 2014

"MIXING" IT UP THIS VALENTINES DAY . . .

Now, you may remember years ago I made comment about Valentines Day and how much I hate it. If you don't remember, you can find it here.

I may be in a relationship now, and slightly less cynical than I ever was, but I am still a bit anti-Valentines Day. So me and my boyfriend agreed to do a card and a little gift, but not go out. Seemed like an okay compromise.

So... I made him a mix-tape. Well, a mix-CD, I suppose it was.

I've never in my life made anyone a mix-tape. But it seemed like a good idea. I had been on the Not On The High Street website looking for ideas for something I could buy - I'm absolutely USELESS at boy presents. But then I saw you could BUY a mix-tape online through the site. I liked that idea but then I thought.... I can do this myself, and it'll mean more. So I did.

 It's relatively easy, just choose some songs that mean something to you both, or your relationship, buy a blank cd online, find somewhere you can download the songs from (I found a website which would let me turn youtube links into mp3s then I was able to burn them on to a CD) , make a cover and voila! Okay, not QUITE as easy as that, I did put quite a bit of work into it.... but I was proud of the finished product.

A mix-tape is a fun idea and I like the fact that it actually MEANT something.



Did you do Valentines gifts? And have you ever made anyone, or been given, a mix-tape?

Thursday, 6 February 2014

A RANDOM LITTLE RANT ABOUT SOME WORDS . . .

Here is a random selection of words and a rant about them. Some are common mistakes, some are not so common and some are just horrible HORRIBLE words. Okay, ONE is. But I feel very strongly about that one word.

Anyway, here goes:


"Specific" and  "pacific"
I don't understand why so many people say "pacific" instead of "specific". Is it just the way they say it that makes it SOUND like "pacific" or do they really think that is another use of that word??? I hate to break it to you, but even if you're talking "pacifically" about the largest ocean in the world, it still should be "specifically". The end.


"Narcolepsy" and "Necrophilia".
A friend of mine years ago was talking about always being tired and half-jokingly said she thought she might have a case of narcolepsy.  However, she referred to this condition erroneously as necrophilia. There was a bit of shock until she said "that IS the condition where you can just fall asleep anywhere and everywhere, right?" Those two words are DEFINITELY not ones you should mix up. Ever.


"Instant gratification" and "self gratification"
This error was my own, and I'm still embarrassed about the time I told a colleague he was the "King of Self Gratification", when I actually meant "Instant Gratification." It's a WEE bit personal for the workplace really, isn't it?


"You're/your", "there/their/they're", "its/it's"
We are ALL entitled to a slip-up, and heaven knows I've been guilty of this too (and on the rare occasion I commit this crime, I usually notice afterwards and instantly want to crawl under a rock with shame) but it REALLY isn't that hard to get the correct spelling of these words in the right context consistently. It really does frustrate me when I see the same people make the same errors with these words constantly.


"Amazeballs"
Why in the world is this even a word? Who decided "amazing" wasn't a good enough word? Who do I need to hunt down and kill? The day that word made history for going in the dictionary, I had to explain to a colleague what it meant. The fact I even KNEW what it meant resulted in a very bleak day for me.



What spelling/grammar mistakes, or words annoy you SPECIFICALLY??? I can't be alone here!

Wednesday, 29 January 2014

ON WHY I COULDN'T HAVE BEEN PART OF THE "DRYATHLON" . . .

To be honest, I think if you know me and/or read my blog at all OR just read my post from a couple of weeks ago (even without the accompanying "flashback" links) then no explanation is necessary for why I couldn't get involved in the Dryathalon happening this month.

It's a very worthy cause, don't get me wrong. I fully support it, and support what others are doing. And I completely admire their willpower! But I just couldn't do it myself. Let me outline the reasons why.

1. I just love wine too much. I could probably give up other alcohol without too much hassle. But keep me from my wine and you will awaken the wino beast that lurks inside me. The beast who can sniff out a white zinfandel at fifteen feet, or hear a cork pop out of a cava bottle a mile away.

2. I would turn to food to fill the hole alcohol left. And it would NOT be healthy food that would satiate me. Oh no. It would be pure unadulterated junk food. Oh, I KNOW people like to tell you that giving up the booze can help you lose weight and I don't doubt this... However, I'd be the one with their face in a family sized bag of Maltesers while typing the Dominos website into my web browser WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO LOOK AT IT. THIS IS WHAT NO BOOZE DOES TO ME!!!

3. Who would I blame for my stupidity if I didn't have the alcohol to turn to??? So I make a stupid, dumb, embarrassing comment and that's all me??? Nothing to do with the alcohol? No. That just doesn't work for me.

4. I find it really difficult to sit in a pub with a soft drink. Especially when other people are drinking. Not even necessarily the people I'm with. They could all be drinking soft drinks too. I'll be staring jealously at the group of people at the next table, who are possibly drinking some vile alcoholic concoction that I would never normally drink in a MILLION years. Wondering if I can ditch my table and somehow befriend them.

5. Cava/ prosecco/ champers

6. Rose.

7. Sauvignon Blanc.

8. Um... the last three were really just reason number one all over again weren't they???


Anyway, just because I have no willpower whatsoever when it comes to the evil grape doesn't mean I'm not fully supportive of those eschewing all booze for this cause. If you've made it this far . . . then I raise my glass to you!

(Sorry about that.)

Who all is taking part?

Monday, 27 January 2014

ON WHY I COULDN'T TAKE PART IN "COME DINE WITH ME"...

I've became a bit obsessed, in recent weeks, with the programme "Come Dine With Me". I'm assuming most of you know it, but in case you don't, it's basically four (or five) strangers who each take a turn to host dinner at their house. Cue recipes going wrong, personality clashes and a lot of bitching. What's not to love?

But I couldn't be a contestant on it myself. Why, I hear you ask?


***I'd have to tidy up my flat for a start. And, to be honest, I don't think it's big enough for a dinner party anyway. Or fancy enough by far. Once you got the camera crew in there'd be no space for guests!!!

***There's usually a part where the guests go and poke about through the host's things. I don't really like people going through my personal possessions, much less showing them off on TV. Although, to be honest, I don't know if I have anything dodgy enough to make it interesting...

***I can't cook very well. Which is probably the major hindrance here.

***I'm absolutely rotten at small talk. I'd be the one who drank too much due to nerves and either threw up over herself and everyone else, or spoke complete and utter bollocks and ended up coming across as the tossiest of tossers.

***I'm not a particularly fussy eater, but there are things I'm not particularly keen on. Like certain types of seafood. Or prawns. Or parsnips. So you could guarantee these would be things I'd end up being forced to eat out of politeness at the other contestants' houses.

***Seeing me cooking - sorry, ATTEMPTING to cook - would not be particularly interesting, apart from the decidedly blue language they would have to censor out when I ended up chopping off my finger. Plus if I've bled into the beef stroganoff (ha! Like I can actually make that!), I don't want my guests or the tv audience to know about it...

***The tidying up afterwards. My dirty dishes have been known to sit in the sink for several days. Sometimes I only wash them up when I realise I don't have a clean wine glass. After cooking three courses for four or five people the debris would be APPALLING. That could traumatise me for WEEKS!!!


So... no. I think I'll give taking part a miss, and just enjoy it on the TV instead. Much safer for my nerves and will save me potentially giving other people food poisoning. :-)

Would YOU go on "Come Dine With Me"???

Sunday, 19 January 2014

ON WHY I'M SO OVER SHOWERS...

I hate showering.

Yep. I said it. To me, showers are the devil. A necessary evil, granted. But one I wish I could avoid.

I know most people probably love them. And what's not to love, I guess. In fact, I used to be OBSESSED with showers when I was younger. I grew up in a house that only had a bath and I used to BEG for my parents to install a shower. (They waited until after I moved out for that to happen.) If I went on holiday and the place I stayed had a shower, I would go absolutely NUTS with joy. In one hotel I even went as far as to shower four times in one day. Yes, FOUR times. That's how much I used to love showers. I mean, how dirty can one person get???

Now I've regularly had use of one for a good ten years or so, I hate them. They're just not relaxing.

I mean, you are standing up the whole time. I can go and stand anywhere. And not have to dry myself afterwards.

It's just so bloody BORING, the whole process of showering. It is mind-numbing. I so prefer having a bath. I can relax and read in the bath. It's a lovely relaxing ritual.

I have very occasionally taken a book into the shower with me, just to make the process a bit more interesting. Especially when hair-dyeing, as it takes so bloody long to get the dye out of one's hair. The book always gets wet unsurprisingly. Have they made a waterproof Kindle yet??? :-/

I would like to point out here that I do shower. I don't avoid them just because I hate them. Like I said, they are still necessary, even with the way I feel about them. But don't expect me to enjoy it.

Stupid showers. :-(


How do you feel about showers? More of a bath person?

Sunday, 5 January 2014

P VS ALCOHOL . . .

I have a lot of drunken stories. It's inevitable when you go on as many nights out as I do. At some point soon I will dredge out the darkest corners of my memories where the drunken anecdotes usually go to hide and do one epic post on it.

You already know many of them if you've read my blog for any amount of time. Do you remember the time I ended up speaking to guy on facebook and agreeing to a date which I wouldn't normally have done while sober? Who I then the following day considered deleting my entire facebook just to avoid the situation? (In the end I just pretended it hadn't happened and it was never mentioned again.) Or the night I accidentally flashed the internet?

Then there was the night I had all of my colleagues on a night out searching for my phone when it was in my bra the whole time. And who could forget the time I managed to fall over with a bottle of wine in my bag... and it smashed. A wasted handbag is bad enough... add the wasted wine to that and it's positively a tragedy.

Anyway, this post has inadvertently turned into a flashback episode, like one of those cop-out episodes of "Friends". It wasn't meant to be. I was just going to tell you my latest one.

So on Friday night I was out with my boyfriend and his brother and sister-in-law. We were out for dinner, but there was some alcoholic beverages consumed beforehand, wine during the meal, and then it was still early when we left the restaurant, so we headed back to the original pub. There were many rounds of drink, to the point where I sensibly decided on a few occasions that instead of having a wine I would have a shot of sambucca instead.

(Okay "sensibly" is perhaps the wrong choice of word. BUT it made sense at the time.)

So eventually the pub was closing and we left. At which point, just around the corner from my flat, I was overcome with the urge to puke. (I have been puke-free since about July of last year so this was disappointing to me.) So I proceeded to do so on the street. Also a bit on my shoes. And also a bit on my boyfriend's shoes.

That is all fair enough and I'm pretty sure even the hardiest of drinkers amongst us has been in such a situation. What I DON'T understand is why I then decided to throw my snood (one of my favourite snoods at that!) on top of the pile of sick. My boyfriend says it happened in a split second, one minute I was wearing the snood, the next I had ripped it over my head and flung it on the ground.

Was it because I was angry I had been sick? Or had it ended up on the snood? Or was I simply trying to make the ground look pretty and distract from the mess I had just made???

Who the fuck knows anyway.

Did anything silly while under the influence recently???

Saturday, 28 December 2013

THAT INEVITABLE POST . . .

I saw a comment from a colleague on twitter about how he couldn't wait (obviously being sarcastic) for all the "new year, new me" status updates on Facebook that were going to pop up over the next week. And I'm sure we're going to see many of this type of post on blogs all over in the next week or two also. So let me take this opportunity to add to it...

I say this every year. Every bloody year. But 2014 is going to be it.  THIS is going to be the year I get healthy. I am I am I am!!!

To be honest, 2013 was never going to be the best time for me as there was a lot of change, and stress, and also some nice stuff I wasn't expecting:

*** First I was passed over for a promotion for a job I had already had experience doing, so I felt shit a lot and ate a lot of comfort food and drank a lot.

*** Then I had to move flat after ten years of living in the same place and acquiring a lot of stuff. Which stressed me out a lot and meant I spent a lot of time procrastinating and avoiding the issue by getting drunk instead of packing. Oh, and then I had no idea how to light the oven in my new place and also kept setting the smoke alarm off when I cooked, so that sort of put the skids on all the cooking I was so excited to do now I was living alone.

*** THEN I got the promotion I had been passed over for and work got really busy too, so that meant a lot less time for exercise/the gym/etc.

*** And then very shortly after that I got into a new relationship and it's a common theme that you end up eating a lot of crap cos you're too busy kissing and getting to know each other to actually be bothered cooking or exercising. Oh, and he keeps picking me up to take me to work in the morning so even all the walking I do has gone by the wayside. Oops.

So it's been a pretty busy year really! :-) And I've eaten approximately 5 million takeaways in the past ten weeks, and the last time I went to the gym was the end of October and the only reason I remember that was because my phone went flying off the end of the treadmill I was using because I was too busy smiling at a text my boyfriend had sent me to pay attention to actually a) running or b) actually HOLDING ON TO MY PHONE PROPERLY.

But come January 1st all that is going to change. My boyfriend is meant to be training for a marathon anyway so hopefully we can motivate each other to actually stop eating crap, cut down on the boozing, and actually do some exercise! It's always easier if you're in it together.

My sister has been working out on and off with a personal trainer at the gym for the past few months so hopefully she can also help motivate me. I'm never going to be a gym bunny (although I've obviously had my moments) but even if I can maybe get there with her once or twice a week (in between doing exercise dvds or possibly even running) and do the workouts she does, then this would probably also help.

I'm at the stage where I'm very excited about all this healthy stuff. It's easy to be at this point isn't it? When you're googling clean eating recipes and protein powder while drinking wine and sitting on your arse and stuffing your face with chocolate you were given as presents. It's putting the theory into practice which always proves difficult.

But I'm motivated. I'm going to give it my best shot. And I WILL be blogging about it as I go.

Wish me luck?

Thursday, 26 December 2013

SALES FEVER....

There was a picture going about on twitter today of one of the Westfield Shopping Centres in London, completely and utterly over-run with people. Boxing Day sale madness.

I will never understand it.

Why do people queue for hours to get in to the Next sale every year? I struggle to think of a time I've wanted anything out of that shop at any time of year, for full OR half price. What is it about sales that drive people insane, sometimes even to the point of violence???

Why would anyone put themselves through that?

Perhaps I'm biased because I hate shopping at the best of times. You probably know all about my pavement rage by now. I had to pop in to the city centre on my lunch hour last Friday and although I only went in to four shops, I nearly killed on several occasions.... this was not helped by being giving a row about queuing at the wrong side of a queue in BHS. MAKE YOUR SIGNS CLEARER. I actually almost cried in relief when I managed to exit the St Enoch shopping centre and go back to work, vowing to never ever go to the shops again (as much as I could help it anyway) and never EVER to leave so much of my Christmas shopping to the last minute in future.

I seem to be missing the "shopping" gene so many people seem to have, although I do love spending money. I just can't face the idea of spending hours walking around shops, especially when I don't even know what I'm looking for!!! Earlier this month I was down in London for work and, thanks to colleagues, spent three days in a row at shops, two in Westfield at Stratford and one in Oxford Street. I could have cried by the end of it. I nearly had a nervous breakdown in Primark in Oxford Street because I couldn't handle the people, the endless racks of clothes, and the fact I got stuck in the middle of several racks of clothes unable to move because of the sheer amount of people trying to fit in that gap.

On the second night in a row in Westfield, two of my colleagues wandered off together saying cheerfully they'd see us in two hours. Me and my male colleague looked at one another in horror at the idea of spending TWO FULL HOURS SHOPPING and agreed to meet back after an hour and find a pub. I STILL barely managed one hour of shopping AND managed to set off a shop alarm twice thanks to someone in Forever 21 neglecting to remove the security tag from the snood I'd bought. THIS is the type of shit that happens to me when shopping. And it's always when I'm alone so I have no one to laugh it off with! :-(

So while all the crazy people rush about the shops today, pushing and shoving for some half price item of shit that they probably don't even really want in the first place, I'm browsing the online sales and drinking some mulled wine.

Who's really winning here???


How do you feel about the sales and/or just shopping in general? Friend or foe?

Monday, 16 December 2013

HOW *NOT* TO CHRISTMAS SHOP . . .

  • Pretend Christmas doesn't exist. If it doesn't exist, you don't need to buy anything for it, right?

  • Alternatively, just alienate all of your friends and family until January. Then you only need to buy presents for yourself. :-)

  • Have no money. Because that ALWAYS helps.

  • Walk straight back out of every shop you walk into because you keep remembering that you hate every other person in the world, particularly those who are shopping that day and in your way constantly.

  • Buy things for other people and then realise you bought it mainly because you liked it and therefore it makes sense for you to keep it for yourself.

  • Allot a night specifically to doing all your online Christmas shopping and then spend the bulk of it searching for a new dress for your Christmas night out as you've decided you hate the first one you bought two nights before the night out.

  • Procrastinate over EVERY present you are buying purely because you have absolutely no idea what to buy your boyfriend and are suffering a mental block for ALL present buying as a result.

I may currently be guilty of MOST of these things.... :-(

How's everyone else's Christmas shopping going???